I was (and in some ways still am) a rebel lol. She was SOOOOOO old-school! I mean STRICT! When I went to the movies, if the movie ended at 6pm, THAT'S the time she wanted me home...6 PM!! I was like "Could you give me time to take a taxi home at least?!" (smh). There were no sleepovers, no male friends visiting (much less a boyfriend), no NADA! I didn't understand her and she didn't understand me, so there was a LOT of friction!
I wasn't into half the mischief she thought I was but I didn't go out of my way to ease her mind either. I didn't drink or do drugs (I stole my grandfather's cigarettes occassionally because I thought smoking was too cool) but all I wanted to do was hang out with friends and do things that teenagers do. When she wouldn't let me hangout, I did it anyway. I excelled in school, so my thought process was 'hey I'm doing well academically so get off my back, I just wanna hang out sometimes'...of course in hindsight, I understand WHY she was that way.
Later on in life I started realizing just how much she DID love me... in her own way e.g. she would cook a meal for the family, and if it was something she knew I didn't like, she would cook something else for me. I imagine it must have been hard for her, seeing her daughter in me (my mom, who passed away when I was 3 yrs old), or having to raise a fiesty granddaughter with her own ideals and arrogant ways (what do you really know in your teens? lol)...and I was always the "Why?" child. You couldn't just tell me the sky was blue and I would accept it...no, if I saw a hint of gray in there I wanted to know 'why?' lol. THAT is considered being rude in my family. You listen to the adults - no matter WHAT they say - end of story! lol
It wasn't until I told her I was pregnant (already an adult and out of the house) that we had a breakthrough in our relationship. It was THEN that she told me that all she ever wanted was for me to get my education and graduate from school. Since I'd done that and was working and supporting myself, she felt that I would be alright. It was the first time that my grandmother and I didn't have an awkward conversation. As a matter of fact, she told me about how SHE felt each time she got pregnant (she had 9 children - God Bless her!) and how my grandfather always wanted 'dis ting' (sex)... at that point in the convo I didn't want to bond anymore, it was just TOO much info!! lol
Now that I have a son, I would probably choke the crap out of him if he went hanging out after school and I had no clue where he went...but I'm also learning to nurture our relationship. He could talk to me about anything and he's allowed to ask 'why?' if he genuinely wants to know something (not if he's being fresh...trust me, parents know the difference! lol).
As always is the case, I sometimes find myself saying to him SOME of the stuff my grandmother said to me, and I CRINGE because those are the lines that I HATED when I was growing up. I guess she had some clue about what she was talking about after all! :)
General Degree - Granny song! lol