1. Dear Drivers, if you are entering a lane and you are waiting for someone to let you in, PLEASE PAY ATTENTION!!! WHAT are you searching around your car for AT THAT VERY MOMENT!? You have 3 seconds to look up and get in front of me or I am passing you by and you could wait for some other schmuck to let you in. Good luck with the 50 cars behind me!
2. Do NOT SQUEEEEEEEZE your car in without indicating that you want to be let in. Indicate and wait. Indicate and wait. I attend RRA (Road Rage Anonymous...well, not so anonymous anymore) and until I am "cured", enter at your own risk.
3. Stop texting/ talking on your cell while you drive!! This is everywhere now...and you know it's serious when OPRAH has a on-going campaign to stop this. You may THINK you have the skills to do this but since your a** is swerving in my lane GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE!!!
4. You are a crossing guard...not the State Police! Yes you protect people and that little red octagon in your hand is muy importante but if I don't see anybody there waiting to cross the street...or they are HALFWAY UP THE BLOCK I am running you and your sign over!
Ok breathe....take a deep breath in....